斩

After 3 weeks of hard work, including weekends burnt, the tender preparations came to a sudden stop. In the exact words of my manager, "we got torpedoed".

With all the effort put in, it's hard for me to say I am not disappointed and angry. There was also that sudden feeling of emptiness where all the hard work put in came to naught.

There were lessons learnt, I am not dismissing those experiences. Still, I had to sit down and think over what might actually have caused this mission abort.


3 subsidiaries going in, so far the sensing was that our solution was one of the more robust one. Information fed by my manager says that the top management was reluctant to send in our solution as we were taking a full solution from a vendor. That sounds like a superficial reason, or maybe it was a road block set up by the other subsidiaries, as they had more relevance in such a tender.

Looking beyond the surface, I suspect my team has been made use of to waste the time of the vendor, such that the vendor will not be able to get his solution in through others. There is also a high chance of some political issues with the solutions and my company do not want to be the one who brings this solution in.

Well, I learnt to calm myself down and think of the big picture these days, and it does give me a pretty good understanding of the situation. I guess it is a kind of relief too to lose this tender, as I have my main project to concentrate on.

The disappointment is  quite overwhelming, I wanted so much to call her up. I wanted someone's comfort, I needed her. I want to know how her arm is healing, how she was doing these days. Yet I can only hold myself back and tell myself, life goes on.